You want your tamaiti to do a task, but they keep saying no or refusing to do it. Is this a familiar situation?
Offering choices is a strategy that works well because some tamariki like to feel they have power and control over things in their lives. There are times when we can allow this, such as by letting them choose how they complete a task.
At kindergarten our kaiako offer tamariki choices when it's time to clean up.
We might say, "It's time to put your toys away".
If the child says no, we can offer them a choice. "Do you want to put away the cars or the trucks?" or "Do you want to put the big blocks or the small blocks away?". When they do comply, we thank them for putting their toys away.
If the child still says no, we say "I'll wait while you choose".
Offering tamariki a choice about what they tidy up helps us to stay calm and positive, and allows them to feel in control.
At home, an example could be when your child says no, they don't want to go to bed.
You could say:
- "It's bed time now, do you want to jump like a kangaroo or run like a cheetah to bed?"
- "It's bed time now, would you like to walk by yourself, or I can carry or piggyback you?"
- "It's bed time now, do you want Mum or Dad to take you to bed?"
If possible, allow them a few minutes to make their choice. If they comply, thank them and follow up with praise about their choice. If no choice is made, you could say "I will choose to piggyback you to bed, let's go" (for example).
